December 2010
I hate this.
The need for approval. The need of other people to make you feel like you have value. The need to be perfect in order for people to like you. The need for compliments to make you feel good about yourself. The need for attention to remind you that at least one person gives a shit.
Dear Society,
I often wonder if i’m good enough for you. Today I realized that i’m not. Not even close. And I dont think that I ever will be. So, sorry that i can’t be perfect for you. Sorry that i won’t change my life for you to like me. Sorry that no matter how much weight I lose, I will always be fat. That no matter how caring I am to everyone, I will always be a bitch. Sorry that I...
“all my life ive tried to make everybody happy while i just hurt and hide waiting...”
– sara bareilles
I look up at you and feel this desire to tell you that i love you. You’ve been quite confusing lately. I never know what to expect, and in a way I like that. But these mixed signals just might drive me to insanity. You hug me and i want to spend eternity in your caring, warm, protective grasp. Your sweet random texts bring me joy when i need it most, as if you somehow sense that...
I feel quite lucky
I, in general, am not a very lucky person…at all. But, i think some things in my life im incredibly lucky to have. Everyday, i take so much for granted, and i hate that i do that. No one seems to “stop and smell the roses” anymore or observe the simple beauties and blessings all around us. If you have a home, food, clothes, and/or people that love you, you are lucky. I’m...
Merry Christmas!
I love how the holidays bring families together, even if its just a few times a year. I think its sad, however, that we need an excuse to see the people we love. We too often get caught up in our everyday lives and forget what truly matters. And then, one day they’re gone and we finally realize that we should have spent time with our family instead of the other pointless things we did. With...
Conformity
In american lit we’re learning about transcendentalism and all that philosophy stuff and it really makes me think. I actually quite agree with alot of it. It’s all about following your inner light and God and not letting the conformity of society get you. I never realized how much we blindly follow everyone else who is just blindly following what society has defined us to be. And now,...
Do we expect too much out of life? Out of love? Out of ourselves? Are we only setting ourselves up for failure when everything doesn’t turn out exactly how we want it to? I’m afraid we might. Like, maybe everything that we think is going to be amazing and special, is just going to be another day. Maybe the people that we think will always be there for us, are just going to leave out...
“Reach down your hand in your pocket, pull out some hope for me”
– Matchbox Twenty
Beauty
What exactly is beauty anymore?
Is it a specific sight? Is it a feeling? Is it being as thin as the skinniest girls in all the magazines? Or having perfectly clear skin and perfect hair?
Well what about personality? Shouldn’t that have something to do with it? I don’t care how physically “beautiful” you are, in my opinion, if you’re personality is ugly, then so are...
Done.
I’m done attempting to live up to everyone else’s impossible standards. There’s no point in trying to reach something unattainable. No good can come out of trying it. Instead, i’m going to live up to my own standards. True, i am my worst critic, but i know when i have done my best, and so what if thats not getting all a’s in all AP classes? No i may not be the...